so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
All I want is dick and wine.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
