another moral hangover. fuck.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
