this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
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The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
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Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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