Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
