Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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