Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize