Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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