I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
