and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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