Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Randomize
