You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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