All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
