no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
