I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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