Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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