i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
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just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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