I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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