I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
