and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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