i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
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