My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Randomize
