is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
