this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
