Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
