..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
