wakey wakey hands off snakey
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
