And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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