She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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