that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. ðŸ˜
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
