Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
