how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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