We're facebook friends in real life
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
we're chasing vodka with high fives
he shaved USA in his pubs
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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