Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
3pm strippers are depressing
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
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