I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
