writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
