so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Randomize
