Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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