everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
