Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
