Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
