is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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