Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
