The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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