Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
