on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
