I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Randomize
