My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
