Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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