Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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