My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
