playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Randomize
