my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Randomize
