Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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