if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
