I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
