i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
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