Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
