im gay
i know
yea but for you.
just tell him i said nine months
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
