Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
He uses pillows to masturbate.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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