I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
