the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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