I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
