Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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