Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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