i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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