just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Randomize
