wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
What a dumb baby whore.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
