Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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