Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
