Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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