why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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